An Ode to Swamps

Doesn’t blogging sound like something a swamp dweller would have to do to travel from one mucky place to another? Put one rubber-footed boot down and the “mud too thick to drink and too thin to plow” would make a splooshing sound. Pull the other foot out and it makes a burping, sucking sound as it tries to pull the rubber boot off.

That’s it. I don’t want to blog anymore. Everything that lives in a swamp tops my “Holy Cannoli!” list.

1. Snakes

2. Alligators

3. Oh heck, I can’t be picky and  so I’ll go back to number one…

1. All reptiles.

2. All Insects, except maybe lady bugs and butterflies.

3. Sinking ground.

4. Being surrounded by muddy, algae and bacteria-glutted water.

5. Being eaten by anything.

6. Poisonous plant matter and for good measure I have to include cypress knees, honestly, they just creep me out.

7. Drowning. Thick or thin, water is not my lung’s friend.

8. Lurking aquatic creatures that stare at me with soulless eyes.

9. Anything with or without eyes that wants to suck my blood. i.e. leeches, bats, mosquitoes, vampires, zombies etc, etc,

10. The smell of dead things as I listen to the sound of dying things.

11. Being in the dark in a swamp because there is so much more to fear when I can’t see it.

12. Lightening. Where does all that stagnant water comes from? Well, duh. Thunderstorms.

13. Spanish Moss. The scariest horror stories all have that ghostly web of swaying plant and bug matter.  

What does this have to do with writing? Absolutely nothing. Wait. No, that isn’t quite right. Let me think.  Thinking, thinking, thinking. Oh, yes, now I remember. Anything in life can be applied to writing. No pathos too small. No triumph too miniscule. No subject too trivial to become the paint on the palette of a writer. If I want to compare blogging through a swamp to writing on this website I can very well do so. Because, drum roll please, I AM A WRITER!

P. S. Thank you Mark Twain for the mud analogy because, where I live, the Mississippi is a meandering swamp.



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